Be the One to Make the Move

notes

I spoke this week with a friend who told me they won’t be reaching out to certain people this holiday season.

I asked why. The response: “Because I have not heard from these people in a long time. Why should I have to be the one to reach out?”

The games people play.

There seems to be an unwritten policy out there that one person calls, then the other has to call next.

And if they don’t – the relationship comes to a slow, painful end.

I have to admit to playing this game myself.

But over the years, I have forgotten who was supposed to contact who – and so, I break down and reach out.

Many people these days are pretending to be tough. They are in control, they tell us. Everything is great. They have the answers.

No they don’t.

And they are far from being as tough as they’d like us to believe.

The reality is that most of us are struggling along, vulnerable, confused and in desperate need for something called…love.

As they play the game of who should be contacting who – eventually, nobody is left.

This is what has happened to a number of older people in my family who lament the fact that once satisfying relationships have turned into dust. Now, but a distant memory.

All because someone was supposed to contact the other person and didn’t.

I often wonder how certain people are doing and say to myself, “I should contact him or her.”

Usually I don’t.

Last Christmas, I reached out to an old friend only to discover he had died.

Rather than allowing the years to pass in silence, let’s reach out this Christmas.

Let’s be the one who decides enough is enough.

It’s not about pride.

It’s about making the most out of life, renewing old acquaintances and above all – giving ourselves the gift of a more enriching life.

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