Are You a People Pleaser?


We often put the desires, priorities and agendas of other people before our own.

Many of us are “people pleasers” who live our lives for others, leaving no time for ourselves.

I was one of such people.

Since I wanted to see the people I like, succeed – I would do many things for them, often without them even asking.

While on the surface this may seem to have been a good thing, it was not.

As people pleasers, we take away the opportunity for others to learn and grow on their own. They become dependent on us. They also come to expect miracles of us, and actually become disappointed when our help is not working for them.

In a short period of time, people pleasers build a network of needy friends and colleagues who often, rather than showing appreciation, come to expect the support they are offered.

The people pleasers themselves typically have no life. Their own hopes and dreams are put on the back burner as they devote countless hours trying to win the approval of other people.

In some ways, the people pleasers are looking for validation. All the while, pushing their own priorities farther and farther down the list.

You may say to me – but isn’t customer service about pleasing other people? Yes, in business, we need to do what we can to satisfy customers. But never at the expense of our own well-being.

In both business and life – I learned that by pleasing myself first was the most effective way of helping others. Because then, I am happy. And when I am happy, I can share my lessons learned, my compassion and my experience.

I now put the emphasis on how others can create their own success, without having it done for them.

We do no favors by robbing other people of life’s ups and downs.

Let us live our own dreams, not those of others. Let us help others grow on their own, and not do things for them.

Let us take back our lives.

One thought on “Are You a People Pleaser?

  1. People pleasing… I spent many years trying to please others – trying to be liked by others. I would be what they wanted me to be – losing myself in the process. After many years in therapy, Alanon and Celebrate Recovery; I am in a much different place today. Sure, I still want people to like me and I want them to be happy. But, if they don’t like me – they are the ones missing out on a great friendship. They are in control of their own happiness. It has been very exhausting to be everything to everyone. It’s a full time job just being me. I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I’m just trying to be a better “me” today than I was yesterday….

    Liked by 1 person

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